the first designer fecal-containment-device

Cynthia Rowley is creating a designer diaper for Procter & Gamble’s Pampers. Quoth the press release: “The diaper collection, which will be available in pastel designs including madras, stripes and printed ruffles suited specifically to babies and toddlers, delivers the perfect blend of utility and aesthetics.” [Translation: Utility = holds poop. Aesthetics = status-anxiety source for label-whore parents.] Rowley adds, “It’s the first piece of clothing your baby will ever wear, and it should be special.” Note special designer label avec discreet Pampers logo. Klassy.

Next press release: Jeff Koons will introduce a paint-by-numbers kit for use with your baby’s excretions.