Pondered in Tablet magazine. I’d be Golda Slayir, Henrietta Schooled, Sharona Slaychem, Vashti’d Off, Isha Zona, Marjorie Mourning Spar, or, if I wanted to go lowbrow, Torah Spelling. As for my referee name…definitely Morris Ayin. (That was the most inside-baseball joke I have ever made for publication.) There are some great suggestions in the comments, too. Check ’em out. And some fab ideas from Facebook: Yiddische Slamma, Kiblitz and Kasha Vanquishes. (I want to MARRY Kasha Vanquishes. Delicious.)

I started thinking about Jewy derby names while collecting kidlit derby names, which I started doing after Betsy Bird solicited suggestions for them in her School Library Journal blog. (My favorite there: Knuckle Bunny.)

Here are my fave children’s-book-inflected names from the actual current rosters of all flat- and banked-track teams:

Alice Rumbledore

Anne of Mean Gables

Ava Kedavra

Beatrix Slaughter

Bellatrix Deranged

Bipolar Express

Dread Pirate Roberta

Encyclopedia Frown

Eva Lasting Broadstopper

Furious George

Harlotte’s Web

Hermione Danger

Judo Blume

Judy Doom

Lemony Kickit

Laura Ingalls Piledriver

Luna Shovegood


Mary Blockins

Pippi Headstomping

Violent Baudelaire

Violent No-Regard

Veruca Assault

Wendy Snarling

Wheelie Wonka

Whomping Willow

What would your kidlit derby name be? Your Jew-y derby name?


  1. Fawn November 9, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    I think I told you this one already, but: my Jewy derby name would be Ivy Smear. Or maybe Gefilte Squish.

  2. Danni October 11, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    I think the best would be Gaza Trips

  3. p. observer October 7, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    Actually i went to a derby the other day and one of the refs went by the name jewy.

  4. Mama Kat March 6, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    There is a junior skater in Orange County whose derby name is Jewella Deville. I was so excited to see a Jewish derby name, but it turned out that her real first name is Jewel and her family was baffled by my excitement. But I think we can still add it to the list 🙂

  5. marjorieingall March 6, 2014 at 4:29 pm


  6. Elana Roston April 27, 2020 at 12:10 pm

    Bagels ‘n’ Knocks

  7. Elana Roston April 27, 2020 at 12:12 pm

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