I sometimes write for parenting magazines. I am amused at the TERROR-INDUCING cover lines some of them favor. (I also love the One Step Ahead catalog, where you can find consumer solutions for things you didn’t know you should be terrified of. You suck as a parent if you don’t get the Crib Rail Chewing Guard! and the “Mommy I’m Here” [sic] Beeping Bear Child Locator! and the faux-mink-lined Shopping Cart Safety Strap! and the mouthwash-filled portable Pacifier Cleanser!) Anyway, I thought it would be fun to write about THE SEVEN THINGS IN YOUR SUKKAH THAT COULD KILL YOUR CHILD! for Tablet magazine. You have to click on the illustration to find the things in question, because they are HIDDEN, just as in real life. But if you loved your child, you’d do it.

(Bonus terror: Vulnerable tween could see photos of astonishing architectural sukkot in Sukkah City competition, develop low self-esteem about lesser sukkah-building skills, fail to get into Yale.)

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