Everyday Shakespeare strikes again. Here is a taste.

Treasured Handkerchief Needs Identical Replacement
Desperately seeking white silk handkerchief with strawberry pattern dyed with the blood of mummified virgins. Must have magical powers. Husband will kill me if I don’t have it. Seriously. This is not a joke. Desdemona@moorwife.com

Awesome Hoodie!!!!
One XS super-expensive Juicy Couture hoodie. Worn only once! Pink tie-dye with rainbow sequins on sleeves. “Jessica’s Bat Mitzvah” on back. Call me!!!! 555-YAY-XMAS. freejessica@shylockshouse.com

Junior Girl’s Dress, size small. Looks heavy but isn’t… trust me
LOTS of beads on this Pink Gunne Sax by Jessica McClintock dress. Still too lightweight for what I need. Some water stains. $60 or whatever you want to pay. I really don’t care. ophelia@elsinoreblows.com

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