This week’s Tablet magazine column, a takeoff on March Madness, is a jokey quickie.

It was hard to come up with examples that wouldn’t really offend anyone, given how pluralistic Tablet is. (So, uh, maybe that’s my way of saying I’m sorry it’s not funnier. Worrying about offending people is no way to write. I wish I could be more like my friend Susan McCarthy, who is always hilarious and witty without being mean.) I didn’t want to snark at the Orthodox or at the totally unaffiliated. I wanted to make the point that neurotic Jewish parents freak out at opposing poles — such as worrying that their kids will become TOO religious and worrying that their kids won’t be religious enough. But I quickly succeeded in upsetting a) the mother of a mentally ill child and b) an intermarriage activist.

Honestly, I thought the allergy moms would get there first.